The F2 Project: The Results II & Conclusion

Two weeks have passed since my amazing metamorphosis from a 'dull rock' to a 'sparkling gem'. By following the teachings of 'Learn to get ripped in 4 weeks as seen on CNN' and the Queer Eye crew, I had successfully completed the crux of what the experiment set out to achieve, but one vital element remained: to test the effectiveness of the results.

As if to answer my prayers, I was invited to a dinner two nights ago by a good friend, where the gender ratio was ridiculously bias in my favour. As I entered the premises (fashionably late, of course) I was feeling optimistic; I was surrounded by a myriad of gorgeous women and I was feeling sexy.

The Targets.

The gameplan was simple: sit in a shady corner of the room, exhuberate my sexiness and have the girls gravitate towards me. I figured that my transformation provided me with powers only attainable by a minute proportion of men: chick magnetism. My elusive demeanour would seal the deal.

The night wore on and I failed to make any advances in my pursuit to attract the opposite sex. My magnetic field was malfunctioning. My confidence was draining as fast as the cocktails held delicately by the quasi-sober guests.The lights seemed to dim to a wan glow, reflecting my devastation.

At this point, I was assailed with a plethora of doubts. Was I not good enough? Am I being perceived as an anti-social sodomite? Is my fly undone? I was dizzied with these contemplations. One thing remained certain however; I was failing in my endeavours. My confidence had emaciated to infinitesimal proportions, so much so that I could not muster the courage to reverse my tactics and to make the approach myself. By the end of the night, I had only succeeded in attracting men.

Two arms wrapped around... Men.

As I glanced across the room, I saw a confident and attractive man conversing with numerous beautiful ladies.

The pimp showing how it's done.

Damn. Guess I'll go back to touching myself in the mirror.

Conclusion: Aesthetics do play a vital role in attracting the opposite sex, but if you are lacking in confidence or do not possess/exhibit an agreeable personality, then you can forget about scoring.

Disclaimer: This experiment is completely fictional (duh). My physique change actually took a year, and my skin is still terrible.

Shout out to all the girls and guys in the photos who gave me permission to use their photos. I love you guys. And no, I don't really touch myself in the mirror. Much.